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“there are no ugly women, only lazy ones.”

April 18, 2010

I love the quote of this title. I am really interested in the falseness of beauty, our conceptions and social expectations of beauty. What really is beauty? And is it really artificial?

As far as I’m concerned, yes.

I am considered, generally, to be relatively attractive. And in society today, proclaiming that is considered to be some sot of vain, overly-self confident statment. But the fact is it’s fairly true. It’s like saying I’m average height (which I am), or that I have blonde hair. Why are we so scared (and intimidated by) women who are self aware of their own attractiveness?

The reason I am comfortable enough to say this is because I go to great lengths to ensure that I remain ‘relatively attractive.’ I don’t wake up in the morning looking like this. I spend an hour getting ready most mornings. Washing, drying and styling my hair, doing my makeup and picking something to wear are all elements in insuring I look good. I have my hair cut and coloured every six to eight weeks, I spend a lot of money on clothes and makeup, I wear contacts as I feel more attractive than I do in my glasses, I watch what I eat and regularly exercise. All these elements are artificial, and they constitute my beauty, which is an artificial construction.

And most beauty is. Okay, there are a lot of lucky people who are naturally very attractive. But I am not one of them. It would be very easy for me to be ugly. And the reason I know that is because I have been. I was a fairly cute looking, but overweight child, who was frequently bullied for the way I looked and this led to the insecurities I have today. As a teenager I was awkward, and it took me some time to find myself. But part of me,ย  lot of the time, is reminded of this chubby childhood and awkward growing up. I never felt attractive growing up, and that was because I wasn’t.

My beauty takes a lot of effort. And many probably consider it unnecessary, but for me, it is necessary. I can’t leave the house without makeup. I hate how ugly and ridiulous I feel in my work uniform.

Beauty is subjective, yes, and it is indeed in the eye of the beholder. But as far as I’m concerned, I do what I can to make sure I am the best me I can possibly be. And yes, this probably makes me shallow. But the truth is, I am incredibly and unbelievably insecure. And I need a layer of makeup, bright coloured hair and a nice outfit to give me a smidgen of confidence.

Is there anything wrong with that?

What are your opinions on beauty? Beauty is ever changing and concepts of beauty are always changing. I believe half the beautiful people in the world are not conventionally beautiful, but it is just something about them. But what is it?

Do you think people have a right to consider themselves to be attractive? I am the patron saint of self deprecation, and I think it is quite a British thing in terms of our humour. Is it okay to consider ourselves good at maths or sport, but not beauty?

What is beauty anyway? Aren’t we all taught to believe we’re all beautiful? Who sets these standards of beauty which we are supposed to abide by? I read a fantastic post here (oh my god that link just took me about 20 minutes to find!!) about who we trust to tell us we’re beautiful. Do we trust boyfriends, friends, parents? Strangers? Do we trust the media and society?

Is it fair that I can be considered attractive once I’ve put on my makeup and done my hair, but not first thing in the morning?

Another one of my musings!!

Charlotte xx

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. BIBC permalink
    April 18, 2010 15:41

    I may have missed the point of the blog and if I have then please feel free to hit me ๐Ÿ™‚

    I find that it isn’t so much the make-up and clothes that make people attractive, I find confidence attractive and it is normally the make-up and clothes that give people the confidence.

    When you asked the question is it fair that you can only be considered attractive after you have spent the hour getting ready, I find it simply comes down to the question, would you have to confidence in yourself to go out first thing in the morning without doing your hair and make-up? I know that I wouldn’t, and I hate it if something comes up that forces me to go out before I have the chance to get ready.

    I think beauty is just an artificial factor used for comparing two people and doesn’t really serve much purpose. I went out to Factory251 last night with a friend and he suggested a game were we choose a person at random and then rated them on a scale of 1 – 200 awarding 50 points for each area, head, body, legs and personality. I found this game to be damn near impossible, It was unreal I found myself unable to think of a number since I didn’t know what to compare the person to, do you compare them to yourself? to the group they are in? to a celebrity?

    Something that interests me is the phrase “out of your league” just who sets the different levels and this to do with confidence, attractiveness or is it other factors?

    Again sorry if I missed the point and sorry if I wrote too much

    Very good blog, made me think

    • April 18, 2010 15:57

      to be honest, it didn’t really have a point. i was just musing, out loud (as in, on the internet), really about beauty and our perceptions of it.
      i often find the posts where i just muse are the least thought out and just a culmination of my thoughts.
      you are completely right though, i do think it is about confidence. I hide behind makeup and hair because it makes me feel better about myself. and it is only when i feel better about myself that i can be completely confident and gain the attractiveness than comes from confidence.
      i also think you’re right, it’s definitely about a sort of comparison, one in which we are often unable to access. who are we comparing against? and who symbolises the ultimate in what we consider to be beauty.
      yeah i definitely agree with you about people being ‘out of your league.’ i experienced this quite a lot when with my ex boyfriend, as people would often tell me I was out of his league. Is that really fair? maybe he wasn’t a pretty boy, but he had a beautiful personality and he was interesting, and I found him very attractive. But people would tell me he was ‘punching above his weight.’ And when he broke my heart, everyone would tell me he wasn’t good enough for me. Now who judges that?
      Sorry if I didn’t make much sense in the post; I’ve never really sure if my musings are a great idea. They get things off my chest but they can be a bit muddled in a bit of a stream-of-conciousness esque way. Sorry if I confused you at all. I didn’t really have a point!!
      Thank you for reading my blog though, I hope you enjoy it and will read it again. I’m glad I made you think.

      Charlotte xxx

      • BIBC permalink
        April 18, 2010 16:16

        It wasn’t that your musing confused me, it was that I saw several meanings in your post and couldn’t decide which idea I could write in reply to.

        I think your musing is a great idea and think you shouldn’t worry too much if they are a great idea or not, in the end they are just to get something off your chest and seem to serve that purpose very well ๐Ÿ™‚

        I’m actually a bit shocked that people would say things like that, although I admit I have wondered about couples and why he/she finds the other attractive I realise that there must be reasons that I cannot comprehend because I can only see things through my eyes.

        (On a side thought wouldn’t it be amazing to live a day in someone else’s life and think what they would think of a situation, I think it would solve a lot of problems.)

        Sorry if some of my comments don’t make sense, I think of a new idea half way through writting and forget what I was writting about, then in a vain attempt to remember what I was writting about I forget my new idea….deadly cycle ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  2. April 18, 2010 16:57

    I’ve always had a wonderful relationship with my body and appearence, mainly thanks to the fact that my mother raised me this way.

    Also, my body is conventianally beautiful. I am tall, slender, and have long legs and neck, with a slimmer waist then my hips and chest.

    But I can honestly say that I can wake up in the morning look in the mirror and think that I look beautiful.

    • April 18, 2010 17:11

      you are very, very lucky!!
      i had a lot of insecurity issues growing up; and while I’ve recovered physically, they still plague me.
      I’m always been a bit on the short side and a bit chubby and it’s often difficult to feel good about myself.
      my mum is very insecure as well, and it was impossible for her to tell me that i was beautiful while i watched her criticise herself.
      you are very lucky to know yourself to be beautiful.
      i wish i had that kind of self confidence.

      xxx

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